Humorous Top 15 Tips for Beating the Holiday Blues

The holiday season can be stressful. If you’re as busy as I am, you may be wondering: how the heck am I supposed to gift shop, decorate, bake, party-plan, travel-plan, attend the obligatory parties, stop by the parties I’d RATHER be attending . . .

Oh yeah! And did I mention WRITE?

According to my Thesaurus, holiday is a synonym for “vacation,” “leave,” “recess,” and “day-off.” Clearly, my Thesaurus needs an update. Who has time for “vacation” until Jan. 1?

When the holiday season strikes, writers have to juggle priorities better than ever. (Why is it that my book deadlines always fall between Thanksgiving and Christmas?)

Let’s face it: organization isn’t exactly the #1 Talent enjoyed by most of us Creatives. (My personal motto? “Clutter is sexy.”)

During the holiday season, something’s gotta give. And for a writer, that usually boils down to one of two things:

1) You stop making time for yourself, or

2) You stop making time to write.

Stop guzzling the “5 Hour Energy,” folks. There’s a better way. I know, because as a community service to all my loyal blog readers, I spent three whole minutes surfing the web to find cures for the Holiday Blues. Ultimately, I was struck by the profound simplicity of the 50+ ideas that I found on a Buddhist website (mainly because that webpage ranked among Google’s top 5 search results for “beating the holiday blues”.)

After great self-debate, I finally narrowed those 50+ ideas down to the ULTIMATE 15 holiday blues-buster tips. Mind you, I had to re-write them liberally so that no one could possibly accuse the ol’ deWolfe Gal of plagiarism.

So, voilà! Here are my Top 15 Tips for Beating the Holiday Blues:

Tip 1.

Walk the dog. Walk someone else’s dog. (Failing that, pet something furry that doesn’t bite.)

Tip 2.

Hug a tree. (Preferably one without lights or needles). And let us not forget what our tall, green planetary neighbors are ultimately good for: HIDE IN THE TREE.

Tip 3.

List 5 things to be grateful for. (Yeah, I know. That could take all day when you’re in an ax-murdering mood.) How about: “List 5 things you wish you could do to your boss.” (Puts ME in a better mood every time.)

Tip 4.

Listen to music. (But not the red-nosed-reindeer-kills-grandma ditty. Songs like that will plant subliminal EVIL in your mind -- and tempt you to act on your “Boss List.”)

Tip 5.

Watch the sun rise. (Great fun for insomniacs. And writers on deadline.)

Tip 6.

Garden. (HELLO?! SNOW is falling, people.)

Tip 7.

Get a haircut. (Or a nose-hair trim. Your choice.)

Tip 8.

Nap. (Difficult for insomniacs and writers on deadline.)

Tip 9.

Watch ripples. (Huh?)

I think my Zen source was referring to the soporific effect of watching ripples on a pond. (Let me save you some time: if the pond is FROZEN, ripples don’t really do much.)

Tip 10.

Read a classic. (Right. Like you’re gonna have time to do THAT this holiday season.) But if you happen to be locked in the loo, with nothing better to do -- (My next career? Poet.) -- might I recommend the ever-popular Texas Outlaw, by Adrienne deWolfe?

Tip 11.

Wrap presents. (Address all the tags to yourself.)

Tip 12. (Taken verbatim from the Buddhist website)

“Sip tea, coffee, or wine with someone. Ponder the depths of existentialism. Or gossip about Angelina Jolie and all her great humanitarian work.”

(You gotta be KIDDING me! Even my nimble brain couldn’t make that one any funnier.)

Tip 13.

Start a new project. (Picture Adrienne laughing hysterically -- and pulling out her hair.)

Tip 14.

Practice Yoga. (Because twisting your body into a PRETZEL is so relaxing.)

Tip 15.

Go for a drive. (Keep driving ‘til you reach Vegas.)